07/04: You know it's time for a career change when...
… an online petition asking you to stop making movies accumulates 70,000 signatures.
Yep. That’s the count right now on the ‘Stop Uwe Boll’ petition. And I kinda suspect by the time you read this, it may have risen a bit. Seems like it’s a popular cause.
Now, full disclosure, I’ve only seen about maybe ten minutes of one Uwe Boll movie in my entire life. That would be Bloodrayne—I briefly lingered over it once while changing channels past the Space channel. And most of that ten minutes was me sitting there thinking: what the fuck happened here!? I’d mercifully never heard of the man. I didn’t stick around to find out who’d been responsible. Determined that this was below even the usual after dark Space channel fare (this is saying somethin’), and it was time to move on. Heard elsewhere later of the legend of Boll—a man who seemed for years to make quite possibly deliberately bad films and finance them through a weird German tax credit thingy.
Anyway, via Slashdot comes this longer story of the horror that is Boll, if it so happens you haven’t heard of the guy yet. His MO was, generally: buy adaptation rights to a video game—frequently an older one—make a really, really bad film from it, and, oddly enough, make money doing so…
This is, now that I think about it, sorta sad. I’d mentioned a few posts ago the potential that may lurk in videogames—indeed, potential that in fits and starts is being realized—and having an opportunistic hack like that turning out cinematic garbage adapted from those works probably isn’t helping.
Anyway. The always colourful Boll has allegedly responded to earlier news of the petition (when it was at around 10,000 signatures) by saying he’d need a larger number to retire. Like maybe a million signatures…
Cue the sound of many, many angry video game and film fans firing up their browsers…
All of which brings me to the point of this post: Whether you sign the petition or not, I really do have to recommend, as a man who appreciates really, really sarcastic reviews, that you take a minute or two at least to review the comments folk who have signed have made. Kinda entertaining on their own, really. Considerably more so that most Boll films, probably, too… But then, I guess, that’s not saying much.
A brief sampling:
Yep. I’m thinkin’ most of the merely sane would see that as a sign mebbe it’s time for a career change.
Yep. That’s the count right now on the ‘Stop Uwe Boll’ petition. And I kinda suspect by the time you read this, it may have risen a bit. Seems like it’s a popular cause.
Now, full disclosure, I’ve only seen about maybe ten minutes of one Uwe Boll movie in my entire life. That would be Bloodrayne—I briefly lingered over it once while changing channels past the Space channel. And most of that ten minutes was me sitting there thinking: what the fuck happened here!? I’d mercifully never heard of the man. I didn’t stick around to find out who’d been responsible. Determined that this was below even the usual after dark Space channel fare (this is saying somethin’), and it was time to move on. Heard elsewhere later of the legend of Boll—a man who seemed for years to make quite possibly deliberately bad films and finance them through a weird German tax credit thingy.
Anyway, via Slashdot comes this longer story of the horror that is Boll, if it so happens you haven’t heard of the guy yet. His MO was, generally: buy adaptation rights to a video game—frequently an older one—make a really, really bad film from it, and, oddly enough, make money doing so…
This is, now that I think about it, sorta sad. I’d mentioned a few posts ago the potential that may lurk in videogames—indeed, potential that in fits and starts is being realized—and having an opportunistic hack like that turning out cinematic garbage adapted from those works probably isn’t helping.
Anyway. The always colourful Boll has allegedly responded to earlier news of the petition (when it was at around 10,000 signatures) by saying he’d need a larger number to retire. Like maybe a million signatures…
Cue the sound of many, many angry video game and film fans firing up their browsers…
All of which brings me to the point of this post: Whether you sign the petition or not, I really do have to recommend, as a man who appreciates really, really sarcastic reviews, that you take a minute or two at least to review the comments folk who have signed have made. Kinda entertaining on their own, really. Considerably more so that most Boll films, probably, too… But then, I guess, that’s not saying much.
A brief sampling:
- Stop it. Just stop it, for the sake of mankind.
- Seriously… just stop.
- You couldn’t direct traffic.
- Please, for the sake of film: stop.
- Ohh god I want him to stop.
- Happy retirement Mr Boll.
- Uwe Boll, I hate you and I hope a dog rips your balls off.
- Please stop now, for the love of all that is decent and beautiful in this world.
- Please stop making movies. You are ruining the integrity of the cinematic arts. Animal porn is better than what you do.
- Every movie you’ve made makes me hate life.
- You ruined my childhood.
- Go to hell and take your movies with you.
- Mate, give it up, it ain’t your thing.
- Seriously dude. Please.
Yep. I’m thinkin’ most of the merely sane would see that as a sign mebbe it’s time for a career change.
Update: As of this morning (8 April, ‘round 10h30 ET), I see the petition has hit 100,000 and change. Damn, but there’s some PO’d fans out there.
zkldkbya wrote: